Note to Dagon

I too feel it's time we quit denying the palpable tension that lately pervades our every encounter, and quit sublimating the raging desire we so obviously feel for one another in all these silly little games we've for years been playing. While it's true I deeply cherish our friendship and know I'd be devastated by the loss of what we have, I simply cannot help wondering if there could be more—much, much more. And so I think it's time we finally throw caution to the wind and find out once and for all.

Because the truth is, I've been waiting since fourth grade to passively revel in your fiery agressiveness, and I just don't think I can wait any longer. So please hurry.

(And while you're at it, pick me up a cheeseburger.)